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Posted on: Mar 06, 2014

The Omnipresent & Omnipotent Sai

Dr. Sara Pavan

On our very first visit to Puttaparthi in December 1980 I had brought along my first video camera. It was hefty two-piece video equipment – separate camera and cassette recorder. With a recorder weighing 10 kg hanging on my left shoulder and a camera weighing 7 kg resting on my right shoulder, I started capturing my first video of the Lord of the Universe as He glided majestically on the golden sand of the hallowed darshan grounds of Prasanthi Nilayam.

Devotees were allowed to use their cameras at darshan in those days and the merciful Bhagawan gave me the strength to carry such a load on my shoulders and keep the tape rolling. Thereafter the compassionate Lord enabled me to place the burden of the camera upon a tripod planted at a vantage point inside the compound with the recorder on the ground. The sevadals were very helpful and I videoed all the darshan during the five days of our brief visit to the Abode of Peace.

Sai devotees in a couple of countries we visited on our return journey, as well as those in Australia, were thrilled to watch such unedited footage of Sai Darshan for the first time. It was not until a month prior to my second visit to Prasanthi Nilayam in October 1981 that I got down to editing, which included adding some music, titles and some occasional commentary.

It was hard work for me as I had limited resources and expertise with video editing. My experience was limited to making personal home movies with Super 8 movie cameras and splicing the developed reels of film. There was no music during darshan in those days. But for the occasional chirping of birds, there was pin-drop silence during darshan, and one could even hear one's own breathing! Somehow, I managed to make a master of my “Sai Darshan” video, which I hoped Swami would bless.

I made four copies of the master on VHS cassettes hoping to give Swami a copy and one each to an uncle of mine in Colombo, who was then a member of the Sathya Sai World Council, and two friends from Malaysia and Singapore, who were of great help to a fledgling devotee like me in the beginning. En route to Bangalore I stopped over in Colombo and gave away my first copy.

I had in my possession the master and three copies of the video when I landed at Madras airport. I had a rough time with customs, who wanted to record a full inventory of all the items I had brought with me, even the four videotapes. When the customs officer tried to enter them on my passport to ensure that I take them back when I left India, I requested him to reduce the number of videotapes to three, because I was intending to give Sai Baba copy. He obliged me with an amused look on his face.

I left a bag at the hotel in Madras to reduce my baggage to Prasanthi Nilayam, leaving some clothing and two videotapes that were intended for my friends in Malaysia and Singapore. With less baggage I proceeded to Bangalore, taking the master copy of ‘Sai Darshan’ and the copy intended for Swami.

At Bangalore airport the secretary to the Governor of Karnataka, personally received me on arrival on the tarmac and drove me straight to his residence within the Rashtrapati Bhavan compound. This gentleman happened to visit our home in Sydney for a bhajan a couple of months earlier and was keen to host me in Bangalore.

I got carried away by the red-carpet treatment in Bangalore, given the rough time I had at Madras airport the previous day. So I foolishly gave away to the governor’s secretary the copy of ‘Sai Darshan’ that was intended for Swami. My mind had tricked me into assuming that that Puttaparthi was far behind the rest of the world with modern amenities. I presumed that there might not even be a VCR or TV in the ashram.

Days went by in Prasanthi Nilayam and Swami ignored me. I prayed to Him to bless my master copy of ‘Sai Darshan’ and take the bundle of letters as well as a small gift I had brought for Him. An adhesive blank strip of paper was stuck on the master copy for Swami to bless with His autograph.

I kept offering the video cassette to Swami at every darshan with a pen in hand. All this was of no avail. Swami was completely ignoring me. At the end of a week I became distraught. An old-time photographer of Swami tried to pacify me by telling me that Baba had already blessed the video by the very fact that He had allowed me to shoot it in the first place.

I told him that I wanted Swami to sign on the video cassette and that alone would be proof that He had blessed the master.

“Do you need to prove this to anybody?” he shot back. I had no answer.

When I returned to my room my words to the customs officer at Madras airport flashed into my mind, when I had asked him to count one cassette less because I had planned to give a copy to Swami.

I realised that Swami might be giving me the hard lesson I needed to remind me of His omnipresence, that He Himself was there watching everything in the airport customs area, I decided to make a same day-return dash to Bangalore by taxi to bring back the video cassette from my friend in Rashtrapati Bhavan.

While trying to arrange a taxi I came to know that Swami Himself was leaving for Brindavan the next day. So I too, decided to leave for Bangalore after Swami’s departure.

An hour after Swami left, I headed towards Bangalore by taxi. In the vicinity of Devanahalli our taxi knocked down a little boy who darted across the road with a basketful of peanuts on his head.

A split-second before the impact I screamed ‘Sai Ram’! The boy went rolling on the road after the impact and lay unconscious. An army of monkeys from the nearby trees instantly climbed down and started gathering the scattered peanuts.

I rushed towards the boy and examined him, running my hands over every part of his body to check if he had any broken bones. A small crowd started gathering around us. Miraculously the boy did not appear to have any fracture. Suddenly I saw from the corner of my eyes something white appearing and coming to a halt. I lifted my head to see Swami in His white Mercedes Benz looking penetratingly at the boy and myself. Standing up, I offered my namaskar. Before I could approach His car to pray for help Swami signalled the driver to move on. I was stunned to have this most unusual darshan.

Here I was, totally ignored in Prasanthi Nilayam, now experiencing an intimate one-to-one darshan in such an exceptional situation! I stood still gazing at the white car until it disappeared from my sight. I turned around to look at the boy and he was awake and somewhat dazed. Squatting swiftly the boy went about salvaging the remaining scattered peanuts and I joined him to minimise his losses.

The boy started walking away from the scene with his basket of the remaining peanuts. I began to wonder how Swami could have made His mysterious appearance at this time despite leaving Prasanthi Nilayam an hour before me.

I also was puzzled why Swami left the scene without a word of inquiry? I then realised it was unnecessary for Him to speak with me. The omnipresent and omnipotent Lord had already saved the boy from nasty injury in response to my calling “Sai Ram”, just as Krishna had made His mysterious appearance to protect Draupadi in the court of Kauravas.

As soon as I reached Bangalore I retrieved the video cassette from my friend, promising him that I would send him another copy later and checked into a hotel. I wrapped the cassette nicely and took it along with the bundle of letters from our centre devotees and the small gift of aftershave lotion for Him in my shoulder bag for darshan in Brindavan the following morning.

My confidence was so low that I did not expect Swami would even look at me, let alone bless the master copy. I decided not even to hold it up. All I prayed from Swami was for His unequivocal forgiveness and to positively indicate to me that He had done so by at least taking His copy of the video.

It happened to be Thursday and it was my first visit to Brindavan. I was given a seat in the third row, a few feet away in front of Swami’s chair on the right hand side of the chair in the shed, commonly known as the ‘Sairam’ shed, under the huge tree. Behind the chair stood a beautiful statue of Krishna on an elevated platform next to the tree trunk.

The atmosphere was vibrant with expectation and all eyes were glued to the archway entrance of Swami’s Brindavan residence. The bhajan commenced and Swami appeared at the gate. He swiftly walked towards the shed, some 75 yards away. He took a few letters and gave padanamaskar to some devotees seated along His passage before sitting on His chair. Swami was deeply immersed in the bhajan for some time, there was a multitude of expressions on His radiant face, while He gestured.

I was silently pleading with Swami to forgive me for all my failings. Choked with emotion and eyes blurred with tears I could not even sing. I prayed to Swami in silence: “Swami! Please forgive me for my blunder. You have made me remember Your omnipresence for the rest of my life. Your copy of the tape is with me. Please take it as confirmation of Your act of mercy and forgiveness.”

Swami’s gaze fell on me and my tears started rolling down. His gaze locked with mine and Swami gracefully stood up and glided in my direction and stood in front of me still not taking His gaze away from me.

I had three items to hand over – the cassette, the letters and the small gift of love. I was still able to get my priorities right. I did not have the confidence to give all three of them in one go. So, I first pulled out the cassette from my bag and stretched my hand up over the heads of the couple of rows of men.

Swami stretched out His right hand and graciously received the cassette and passed it on to the sevadal accompanying Him, while the men in the front row blissfully clasped His Lotus Feet.

Still staring at me He stood there and I quickly dug into my bag and pulled out the bundle of letters the devotees from our centre had given me. Swami received all the letters and slowly returned to His chair to take arati to end the bhajan. He did not give me any chance to hand Him my small gift, a bottle of after-shave lotion. That did not matter because Swami had already offloaded a mountain of my mental burden.

Why did I want Swami to bless the master tape by signing on the label? I was mainly to prove to others that Swami had approved it. It was my ego demanding this approval from Swami. Wasn’t my conscience enough? Swami always says, “Follow your Heart.”

After lunch and satsang with Bob Lowenburg at his residence in Whitefield I returned to my hotel in Bangalore. Bob Lowenburg was a well-known Sai devotee from South Africa residing in Whitefield and who had written the book, ‘At the feet of Sai.’ He was also the chairman of the Whitefield samithi then.

I was scheduled to fly to Madras the next day for my return journey to Australia. The thought of leaving Swami triggered a deep sense of disappointment because I had neither been able to speak with Swami, nor touch His Lotus Feet on this visit, let alone give Him the small gift I had brought from Australia.

At least, I thought, I could send the after-shave lotionto Swami by registered post. I directed the taxi driver to take me to a post office in the city. When I handed the parcel over the counter, the post office staff would not accept my parcel wrapped in paper for registered post; only parcels wrapped in cloth, sewn and sealed were acceptable. This was totally new to me. However they suggested that I could ask a tailor across the road to do the needful.

While the cloth bag was being sewn I quickly wrote a letter to Swami for inclusion with the parcel. I expressed my gratitude to Him for forgiving me by taking His copy of the videotape, but lamented that I would be returning to Australia without a padanamaskar (sparshan) and conversation (sambhashan).

After dispatching the parcel I reached my hotel late in the afternoon to rest. Having unloaded both my physical and mental baggage by then, I decided to re-visit Brindavan in the evening, just to sit peacefully under the ‘Sairam shed’ and absorb His divine vibration on the eve of my departure, even if Swami didn’t show up.

On the way I saw Mr & Mrs. Lowenburg taking an evening walk towards Brindavan and I gave them a lift. They told me that Swami generally did not come out in the evening. There were no more than 40 devotees seated under the tree. I sat in prayer thanking Swami for everything and meditated for some time.

Dusk had set in and many devotees had left by then leaving just a few of us. Unexpectedly, Swami appeared at the gate and looked in our direction. My heart was pounding away with great excitement, but Swami disappeared behind the Kalyana mandapam and a few more devotees left.

Ten minutes later Swami emerged from behind the mandapam and again looked in our direction. It was already getting dark but He suddenly headed towards us and my joy knew no bounds.

When He was in front of me I told Him how grateful I was for His love and forgiveness and said that I was leaving for Australia the next morning.

As Swami replied, “Happy”, I touched His Lotus Feet.

Dr. Sara Pavan with Bhagawan in the Sai Kulwant Hall, Prasanthi Nilayam

The registered parcel with my letter was handed over at the Post office in the city only at 3.00 PM that day and was not expected to reach Brindavan for another few days. The Omniscient Lord most compassionately responded to my plea in my letter and came out of His way, so late in the evening, to converse with me and let me take padanamaskar. There is nothing that Swami does not know or anything that He cannot do. He is the Totality; He is All That is.

Jai Sai Ram

- Team Radio Sai

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